Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator from Upscale Studios sounded like a blast, right? Cats, chaos, Christmas tunes – what’s not to love? I mean, seriously, sounded like the perfect recipe for a quirky good time. But, and here’s the kicker, it just doesn’t hit the mark. Buckle up, I’m diving in.
So picture this: you, as a cat, wrecking a grandma’s cozy little home. You get to be the feline menace, toppling vases, playing ninja with the curtains, and batting around heirlooms like they’re nothing. Pretty fun, right? That’s what I thought too.
Now, let’s set the scene. It’s Christmas night, and Santa, bless his heart, drops off another cat right into your territory. This cat decides to cause trouble, smashing a flower pot and cleverly pinning it on you. The mission? Flip the tables. Get this rival booted out by causing mayhem without getting busted by grandma. Sounds like fun? I thought so, at least until I started playing.
You’re supposed to sneak around, aim for the household trinkets, then flee the scene as grandma – who, by the way, seems like she’s got eyes in the back of her head – rushes in at the sound of a crash. The bells sound? Time to cheese it. Grandma catches you? You’re in the doghouse, metaphorically speaking. But here’s the thing – and this is where it gets iffy – the mechanics flop like an overturned fish.
Imagine grandma and your rival cat stuck trying to waltz past a chair. Seriously, they just keep at it until you feel like throwing your controller in mild frustration. Tactical planning? Throw that out the window. I swear, one time, the other cat just chilled in a couch. Like, permanently. And hey, grandmas need glasses sometimes, right? She blamed the other cat. Victory, sort of?
Did I mention first-person view? Try looking around with your face an inch from the floor. It’s all ‘early 2000s’ graphics and paw animations that look, well, off. Grandma’s voice sounds like it’s coming from a tin can. Aside from some catchy holiday jingles, the audio’s not winning any awards.
The cherry on top? No Platinum trophy. You can break stuff, frame the rival, and maybe collect a few minor achievements, but if you’re a trophy hunter, tough luck. There’s a Sandbox Mode where you can go solo with grandma – she’s all you need.
I wanted Cat From Hell to be a goofy festive diversion, but it felt more like minding a house of cards in a windstorm. It barely works on the PS5. The whole framing-the-other-cat gig? Rarely pans out. At $4.99, even with a bow on top, it’s a hard sell for me.
Disclaimer: Got a PlayStation copy from Upscale Studios to bring you this tale.
