Okay, let’s dive in. So, ever had one of those moments where you’re just like, “Who on Earth thought of putting peanut butter and chocolate together?” Seriously, that person must be rolling in cash, right? Or maybe they just got a high-five and a “thanks, pal” before slipping back to fix the latest batch of fries. You know like that bit in The Wire with the guy who supposedly invented the Chicken McNugget? Anyway, who knows. But isn’t it wild when you stumble on a combination that’s so good, you’re like, “How did no one think of this before?”
And this thought hits me every single time my crew and I are rushing back to our crazy time-tripping ship while fighting off those pesky Time Reapers. It’s like, why didn’t anyone say, “Hey, what if we mash up Overcooked’s madness with Gears of War’s chaos?” Before Pizza Bandit, that is.
So picture this: you’re Malik. He used to hunt bounties but dreamed of cooking pizza. But then boom, gets conned out of his pizza joint. You’re back in the game ‘cause your old crew needs a hand. The writing? Kinda goofy, but man, that’s what makes it fun. Like when this android, Albert, who’s updating your gear, flat-out says, “I can’t say sorry about your shop, I’m just a robot.” And your pilot’s all misty-eyed about missing fog. What even? But it’s perfect for setting the scene for all the kooky stuff in Pizza Bandit.
Get this, you’re not just any old bounty hunter. Nah, you’re zipping through time, picking up contracts across space and time. I mean, pizza heals – thank heavens – and bullets hurt. Those pesky Time Reapers are everywhere though, trying to mess up this pizza gig, and we’re not letting that slide.
Here’s what sets Pizza Bandit apart: it’s not just about shooting. Nope. It’s like cooking up madness. I remember the first mission – which was nuts – where our gang landed at this shady Restaurant from Nowhere. Up to three pals can join, and our job was to crank out pizza for other hunters. Imagine juggling toppings, hitting the oven, nailing the drink orders, and sneaking in loot while battling Time Reapers that lurk, all while sending them through rocket pods on time. Like, those Reapers seriously hate mom-and-pop shops, clearly.
Back to the game’s craziest twist – those Time Reapers mean business, and they’re not into small talk. So what’s the fix? Pure, unfiltered mayhem. I’ve messed around with several Pizza Bandit builds – let me spill, your arsenal’s way cooler than it sounds. You start with the usual stuff like rifles and miniguns, but it gets gnarly once you unlock your side toys by finishing gigs. Sure, landmines and grenades are basic, but releasing a disco ball that lures enemies into a dance rave before it goes boom? Genius. And we’ve gotta talk about that sentry turret. Pure magic. Trading blows with Time Reapers? Try using a person-sized pizza cutter. Wild.
Time Reapers are relentless – you’ve got your sprinters, crawlers, these crazy Terminator-types, huge hammer guys, and fireball-throwers who’ll mess up your day if you’re not careful. It’s a juggling act, really.
Pizza Bandit shines brightest when you’ve got a snazzy team. Our rounds were filled with yells of “Pepperoni pie, stat!” and “I’m on the soda!” interrupted by gunfire. Decisions are flavorsome too – like when you get to summon your one-time use rocket pod, packed with goodies. And where to place it? Could seal a stairway if you’re clever. Keeps it lively.
But here’s a kicker: We’ve tackled just Restaurant from Nowhere. Pizza Bandit’s not settling for one plate. One standout level’s all about transforming a sushi spot, making sure orders on the turntable are spot-on. You might need to chase down a giant tuna, haul it up, chop it up before Reapers turn you into sushi. Fry an egg, whip up cucumber rolls – the usual hustle. Newcomers trump old customers, and Reapers aren’t lollygagging until your dish is plated.
Once, I didn’t even have to cook. In this wild Wizard’s Tomb level, you’re dodging traps for a mystical sarcophagus. Swipe it, power through puzzles, and you’re ferrying it out with jetpacks. The mission’s not just about wrapping up a gig; you gotta make it out, in one piece. Just everyday bandit stuff.
There are more shenanigans too – take rescuing Dr. Emmert Browne from a log cabin for example. They’re crafting a time machine as you fend off rabid Reapers. Gotta cook and keep him alive too. Clearly, Reapers skipped ‘Paradoxes 101’. Can’t mess with time if there isn’t time, alrighty?
Or how ‘bout cracking a vault with a laser drill, dodging explosions, snagging a magic cookbook? You’re paid for this thing, random explosions or not. A bandit seizes opportunity.
Oh, and channel your inner Bryan Cranston as you whip up some ‘magic powder’ and stow it in chicken. Yup, you read right. Kill, cook, kosher poultry all day. Ludicrous? Heck yes. Yet it’s unbeatably fun.
Sneak breaks happen back at Pizza Bandit restaurant – you gear up, pimp it out, use mission scores to bake pies for boosts next run, maybe rock some cat-themed accessories. Every trend needs followers, don’t judge. Then head back to work. Bandit lifestyle’s relentless.
Sometimes, stuff clicks only when it’s in your hand. Never occurred to me Pizza Bandit was a craving until I stumbled on it at PAX. Like whispering lore, it intrigued folks, ‘cept you worry if it clicks. Controller in hand, everything made sense. I can honestly say, Pizza Bandit wasn’t on my radar, but now I’m in for extra helpings. Pizza heals, bullets get ya, and this, my friends, satisfies every gaming itch. If Jofsoft nails the final version, we’re all in for a chewy, crispy slice of gaming pie.
